Time Marches On...

Here I am again. Thinking about the same things, my past. It is filled with more twists and turns than ribbon candy but it's familiar. The things I left behind were the ones I loved the most. But then I realized that maybe I didn't leave them in the past. Maybe, and this is a big one, Maybe I wasn't supposed to give up as easily as I did. I mean I gave everyone what they wanted. And the sad thing is that they did not hate me for me. They hated me for everyone elses lies. Every time I was judged it was because I had a very sucky personal life. I had allot of issues, allot of problems and much of them was of my making. I was young, immature, and not ready to be where I was... Hit the fast forward button. I'm three years out. My life is clean. I mean 95% of my proverbial skeletons are out of my closet and I think I'm ready. I think that the knowledge that I have in my head should be able to do me some good, and others for that matter. I know that men and women will talk. I know that I might still have some rumors to outlive but I am ready. I think that me denying what I really want to do with the rest of my life would be horrible. And, I think that deep down I have fought what I want to do for the couple years that I have kept my mouth shut. I really believe that other people got to me. Had way too much influence on me... I am ready to start fresh. And that is exactly what I have every intention of doing.