Frustrated.

I know that this post is going to seem more like a pity party than anything but I need to write it down. So I can get it all out. Last week was probibly the hardest week I have had in a LONG time. I was alone Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and all day Saturday. I finally thought that things would be going back to normal today but instead I am home alone again. Yes. It angers me. I feel that I have pulled more than my half lately. The thing that get's me is that he is not even doing all of this for a job. Its a hobby. So, he gets to run off and leave me here alone. I know that this sounds selfish and messed up but he never does the evening routine without me. I am always here. I scheduled my classes so that I was in school when the house was empty and now, here I am, because of no fault of my own I am responsible for everything. Chasing this dream better be worth it. Don't get me wrong. I am happy that he has aspirations and dreams but sometimes I wish that instead of jumping in feet first he would wade in and test the waters. Instead of telling me that I was responsible for the whole evening he would ask. I mean two days a week is fine but four is overwhelming. I know that a firefighters wife has responsibilities but this is excessive.I mean C.P.R. on Valentines Day? Class scheduled for my birthday weekend so we cannot go anywhere? That's asking allot from any woman. Not to mention our job is a 24 hour job. It's not like I am home alone with a t.v., remote, and lean cuisine meal. I have other responsibilities... I mean I think that he has been home alone one time in the last month and even that time I got four phone calls.

Now, let me disclaimer all this with the following: I love our job. I would not trade it for the world. Ditto with the Husband. I love him. I really do. I just needed to vent some feelings. That way when he comes home I won't blow like a volcano. It's easier this way because I can reason with myself and bring myself back from the edge of anger. This doesn't mean I'm going crazy or this doesn't mean that I need a break. It just means I feel unappreciated.

Wow. I feel better already.