Stand up when I cant.

Sometimes I get sick of everything. I get sick of being made to do things I don't want to do, I get sick of picking up the jobs that everyone else refuses. It upsets me. But I do not have to live like this. I feel like I do nothing for me. That every day I do everything for everyone else but I do not take time to make myself happy. I don't know. Maybe its better that I do not have time for me. But I think that I need that time. People suggest I go to the library and read. How is that fun? Sitting in an uncomfortable chair reading a book in front of others? This does not seem fun to me. So I really dont know what hobbies I will take up. But I will find one. And then, Lord help the person that stands in my way. I am ready to make myself happy.

A new blog, A new me.

This is my personal blog. I have a family blog but I need my own. The old one just didn't seem to fit right and I needed a way to vent. Hence, I am doing this, one way or the other.

Today. I am nervous. I have a meeting where I have to stand up for my family and myself. I am not looking forward to it. The meetings like this I have been involved in in the past ended up with me in tears and the ending of a chapter of my life. I do not want this to the the case with this meeting. And then I realized that this meeting does not really bear the same resemblance. The main reason is because before I was not in the will of God. I had gone done such a horrible road and put myself in a position where my morals and character were being questioned. I learned though that without God being in the midst of something and supporting it failure is almost a guarantee. I do not want to go down that road again.

Yes, the accusations are horrid and no, none of them are true. Am I afraid? I was. That was until I turned to God with this problem. Two weeks ago I remember being fed up with the situation. Like I could not handle it anymore. And then I remembered that I didn't need to handle it. It was not my burden to bear. God could and would fix this situation. He started working on my heart and started to make me realize that it is not my responsibility to defend myself. This is not about me. This is not about being right. This is not about making a point. This meeting is a chance for my husband and me to show the love of Christ to other, to let his amazing presence in our lives to be felt by others who need Jesus.

So, let them come and question. Let them accuse, state, and demand all they want. The will of God is bigger than them, bigger than any plan they have. Any snare they have set. How do I know this?

Fear of others will prove a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

-Proverbs 29:25

So that is about it. Trust in God. Let him do all the work. I will update tomorrow to let everyone know how everything went and let my feelings out.